65 Puns So Bad They're Really Funny

These one-liners are so silly and stupid you tin't assist but honey them.

The only thing better than a practiced pun (look—is there such a affair?) is a really, really bad 1. You know the kind we're talking well-nigh, the bad puns and 1-liners and then ridiculous and stupid that they brand you wince, and you express joy even though your brain is shouting at you, "Come on! That'due south an insult to both of us!"

Loving a groan-worthy pun isn't a sign that you're losing grip on sanity. Quite the opposite, in fact. Loving the wordplay of a pun could exist an indicator that you have higher-than-boilerplate mental agility and are more bonny to potential mates, co-ordinate to a 2011 study published in the periodicalIntelligence. Information technology as well means that you're not suffering from a lot of social insecurity. Every bit writer John Pollack explains in his bookThe Pun Also Rises, people who detest puns also tend to be stick-in-the-mud fuddy-duddies. "If you accept an approach to the earth that is rules-based, driven by bureaucracy and threatened by irreverence, and so you're non going to like puns," he writes.

Then allow's all accept a break from the earth and savour these 65 hand-selected puns that are guaranteed to brand you lot groan, and then express mirth, and peradventure even forget all the insanity and jaw-clenching stress in the world—if simply for a few minutes.

Hilarious Puns to Go Your Friend Laughing

an extremely bad pun about boulders
Best Life
  1. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
  2. The past, the nowadays, and the future walk into a bar. It was tense!
  3. How did the movie end up in jail? It was framed!
  4. You really shouldn't be intimidated by advanced math…it's easy as pi!
  5. My ex-wife yet misses me. But her aim is starting to improve!
  6. What did the hamburger proper noun it'due south babe? Patty!
  7. Why was the baby pismire confused? Because all his uncles were ants!
  8. I lung said to another…nosotros be-lung together!
  9. Why was the cookie distressing? Because his mom was a wafer long!
  10. I used to go fishing with Skrillex. Just he kept dropping the bass!
  11. What's the deviation between a hippo and a null? I is really heavy and the other is a little lighter!
  12. I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said Wii!
  13. What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabee!
  14. Certain, I drink brake fluid. Simply I can cease anytime!
  15. My girlfriend thought I'd never be able to make a machine out of spaghetti… You should've seen her face when I drove pasta!
  16. Java has a rough time in our house. Information technology gets mugged every single morning!
  17. What did the duck say when she purchased new lipstick? Put it on my bill!
  18. I just establish out that I'm color blind. The news came completely out of the green!
  19. What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi!
  20. Whenever I undress in the bathroom… My shower gets turned on!
  21. I was walking through a quarry…I said to the foreman, "That sure is a large stone!"
  22. "Bedrock," he corrected me. So I stuck out my chest and shouted, "THAT Sure IS A BIG Rock!!"
  23. My parents said I can't drink coffee anymore. Or else they'll basis me!
  24. Why didn't the true cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
  25. What did syrup to the waffle? I beloved you a waffle lot!
  26. Who is the penguin'southward favorite Aunt? Aunt-Arctica!
  27. I once met a pig that did karate…we called him Pork Chop!
  28. What should a lawyer always vesture to a courtroom? A good lawsuit!
  29. Somebody stole all my lamps….and I couldn't exist more de-lighted!
  30. My married woman refuses to go to a nude beach with me…I call up she's just being wearing apparel-minded!
  31. The quickest way to make antifreeze? Just steal her blanket!
  32. Did you hear near that cheese factory that exploded in France? At that place was zippo left simply de Brie!
  33. What do you exercise with chemists when they die? Barium!

Funny Puns to Tell on a Whim

a funny pun about fruit flies and bananas
All-time Life
  1. I'm no cheetah…you lot're lion!
  2. Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar…You can't tell me that'due south only a coincidence!
  3. Never appointment someone cross-eyed… You'll always grab them seeing other people on the side!
  4. What did the mayonnaise say when somebody opened the fridge? "Hey, close the door! I'm dressing!"
  5. Fourth dimension flies like an pointer… Fruit flies like a assistant!
  6. How practise you brand a good egg-scroll? You push information technology down a hill!
  7. Apple is designing a new automatic automobile. But they're having trouble installing Windows!
  8. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base of operations so merely went habitation!
  9. I've started sleeping in our fireplace. At present I sleep similar a log!
  10. I have a few jokes near unemployed people… But none of them work!
  11. Every soccer player's favorite beverage? Penal-tea!
  12. Did you hear virtually the kidnapping at schoolhouse? It'south okay. He woke up!
  13. What practice you call an overweight psychic? A four-chin teller!
  14. Why do eggs hate jokes? The answer cracks them up!
  15. I used to wonder why Frisbees looked bigger the closer they came… And then it hit me!
  16. Two egotists started a fight. It was an I for an I!
  17. I'm glad I know sign linguistic communication. It can come in pretty handy!
  18. Looks tasty. Gimme a pizza that.
  19. Cactus puns are simply succulent.
  20. A police officer simply knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That's ridiculous. My dogs don't even own bikes!
  21. I wanted to accept pictures of the fog this morning… But I mistmy risk. I estimate I coulddew it tomorrow!
  22. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his front door. He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
  23. My dad unfortunately passed abroad when nosotros couldn't think his blood type… His last words to us were, "Be positive!"
  24. Did you hear about the guy who had his left leg and left arm amputated later on a auto crash? He'southward all right now!
  25. I became a vegetarian. Huge missed-steak!
  26. What should yous call an average white potato? A commen-tator!
  27. I bought some shoes on the drug black market…I don't know what they're laced with, but I've been tripping all day!
  28. Did you hear nigh the guy who got striking in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft potable!
  29. I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought… "That's the terminal thing I demand!"
  30. I can't believe I got fired from the calendar manufacturing plant. All I did was accept a day off!
  31. Bad puns…it'southward how eye roll.
  32. Why did the grizzly detest this article? He tin't bear puns!